var quotes = new Array;

quotes[0] = 'You hear something really funny during the sermon and smile as loudly as you can. (Keillor)';
quotes[1] = 'It\'s 100 degrees, with 90% humidity, and you still have coffee after the service. (Keillor)';
quotes[2] = 'Doughnuts are a line item in the church budget, just like coffee. (Keillor)';
quotes[3] = 'The communion cabinet is open to all, but the coffee cabinet is locked up tight. (Keillor)';
quotes[4] = 'All your relatives graduated from a school named Concordia (or Luther). (Keillor)';
quotes[5] = 'You watch a \"Star Wars\" movie and they say, \"May the Force be with you,\" you respond, \"and also with you.\"  (Keillor)';
quotes[6] = 'You actually understand those folks from Lake Wobegon, MN. (Keillor)';
quotes[7] = 'It takes ten minutes to say \"good-bye.\"  (Keillor)'; 
 

var whichquote=Math.floor(Math.random()*(quotes.length))
document.write(quotes[whichquote])