var quotes = new Array;

quotes[0] = 'Lutherans believe in prayer but would practically die if asked to pray out loud. (Keillor)'; 

quotes[1] = 'Lutherans like to sing except when confronted with a new hymn or a hymn with more than four stanzas. (Keillor)'; 
 
quotes[2] = 'Lutherans believe their pastors will visit them in the hospital even if they don\'t notify them that they are there. (Keillor)'; 

quotes[3] = 'Lutherans believe in miracles and even expect miracles, especially during their stewardship visitation programs or when passing the plate. (Keillor)';

quotes[4] = 'Lutherans feel that applauding for their children\'s choirs would make them too proud and conceited. (Keillor)'; 

quotes[5] = 'Lutherans think that the Bible forbids them from crossing the aisle while \"passing the peace.\" (Keillor)'; 

quotes[6] = 'Lutherans drink coffee as if it were the Third Sacrament. (Keillor)'; 

quotes[7] = 'Lutherans feel guilty for not staying to clean up after their own wedding reception in the Fellowship Hall. (Keillor)'; 

quotes[8] = 'Lutherans are willing to pay up to a dollar for a meal at church. (Keillor)'; 

quotes[9] = 'Lutherans think that Garrison Keeler stories are totally factual. (Keillor)'; 

quotes[10] = 'Lutherans still serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color for the season and think that peas in a tuna noodle casserole adds too much color. (Keillor)'; 

quotes[11] = 'Lutherans believe that it is OK to poke fun at themselves and never take themselves too seriously. (Keillor)'; 
 

var whichquote=Math.floor(Math.random()*(quotes.length))
document.write(quotes[whichquote])